Qualities of Interpersonal Mindfulness
Relationships require attention and effort in order for them to flourish. At any time, but particularly when relationships become strained or difficult, bringing mindful awareness to the situation can make all the difference between that relationship thriving or withering away.
Goldstein and Stahl suggest six qualities they consider essential in cultivating interpersonal mindfulness:
Similar in concept to "Beginner's Mind", this is where you are seeing the relationship afresh, open to the other person's perspectives, views and beliefs.
Alignment of your own feelings to another's. To achieve this, you need to first be able to identify your own feelings, which means being in-tune with your moment-to-moment experiences and how those are impacting you mentally and emotionally.
This quality combines Empathy and a desire to ease the suffering of others.
Often viewed as more action-oriented than Compassion, this is a quality where you truly wish others well and take proactive steps to make that a reality through acts of kindness.
Where you delight in the happiness and joy of others - not because there's any benefit to you, but because of the unselfish desire to see others happy and well.
This is a quality of wisdom that understands the true nature of change and recognises the impermanent nature of all things (including human beings). Equanimity gives you balance and compure in the face of change.
In addition, we would add the following to the list:
Both a willingness for you to be vulnerable in a relationship with another being, but also creating the conditions where another feels safe enough to be vulnerable with you.
Speaking the truth - but in a kind, compassionate way. Sometimes, this can mean not speaking at all if the truth would be too painful in that moment.
Respect for both yourself and others. Without this, how can a relationship possibly flourish?